Discipline is an important part of parenthood. If you want your children to grow up in the right way, then you should know the right steps in disciplining them. Disciplining is needed so that children will be able to behave in the right way when in public or even at home. There is no parent out there who would ever want to be accused of raising a spoiled child. Despite that fact, we still see so many children behaving in a wrong way, showing no respect towards their elders and treating other kids badly. It just means that there area lot of parents who are clueless as to how they should discipline their children.
Discipline is all about teaching your child the right kind of behaviour. It involves telling and teaching them what sort of behaviour would be acceptable. Discipline may involve punishments like grounding or depriving of certain privileges. More importantly, it can also involve giving out rewards for exceptionally good behaviour. Most parents make the mistake of supposing that discipline is all about punishment and restrictions.
What Hinders Proper Disciplining
All parents encounter problems when trying to teach good behaviour to their children. The degree to which these difficulties are encountered would vary, but for the most part all parents have experienced them. One example of that would be children who are disrespectful, and those who do not listen to what their elders tell them to do. Another hindrance to the proper discipline would be those children who listen to what their elders tell them and yet do the exact opposite of what they are told to do.
The way that you discipline your children will be tied with the parenting style that you use. Here are some of the more common parenting styles:
- Authoritative parent
- Authoritarian parent
- Permissive parent
Those are the more common parenting styles today. An authoritative parent is someone who sets very clear expectations to his/her children. On top of that, in this parenting style there are also some very clear consequences if those expectations are not met. But an authoritarian parent is also very affectionate and has no problems when it comes to showing emotions towards his/her children. In other words this kind of parenting offers a great deal of flexibility. Experts see it as the most effective form of parenting.
An authoritarian parent is also someone who has very clear expectations and consequences concerning the action of his/her children. Unlike the authoritative parent, an authoritarian one shows little affection. This kind of parenting is not very effective as it might drive the child to become a rebel.
On the other end of the spectrum would be a permissive parent. This kind of parent would show abundant affection for the child but provides little discipline and guidelines for behaviour. This kind of parenting is not very effective when it comes to providing discipline.
Picking the Right Technique of Discipline
You have to pick the kind of disciplining technique that you would be using towards your child. There are several factors that you need to consider when looking for the right technique of disciplining that you would be using. You have to think about the different inappropriate behaviours that are shown by your child, the temperament of your child and of course the parenting style that you normally use. We have listed here some interesting points that you can use for disciplining your child.
Rewarding Good Behaviour
Experts agree that the best way to encourage your child towards good behaviour would be to reward them when doing it. That will reinforce the idea that it is good to be polite. Some people think that this isn’t the best way because they feel that rewarding good behaviour would give the impression that a reward is needed every time a child is good, but that isn’t the case.
The Natural Consequences
Things have natural consequences. When things happen there are results that would naturally turn up. You must make your children feel and experience those natural consequences of their actions. When you do that, there would be no need for you to give out a lecture. You just have to let them experience the consequences of their actions and they should learn a lesson from the experience.
If your child breaks a toy, then let feel the consequences of that. Don’t buy them a new one. Let them feel the full consequences of breaking that toy. This kind of disciplining method should work well with children who don’t seem to listen.
The Logical Consequences
Sometimes you do not have to wait for the actions of a child to end with its natural consequences. You can use logic in order to show the child that his/ her actions could not end well. You can tell the child that if he/she does not clean up, there would be certain consequences. You have to make sure that the consequence is directly linked to the bad behaviour.
Removal of Privileges
Another effective means of disciplining a child would be to remove certain privileges. This is ideal for those behaviours that do not have negative consequences. If a child is unable to finish his/her homework then you can forbid watching television . This technique would be more useful if the privilege that you would take away is somehow connected with the negative behaviour of the child. It is also important that the privilege that you will take away is something that is important and valuable to the child.
The Use of Time Outs
Another effective tool for the disciplining of a child would be the use of time outs. It is perfect if you need a break from the bad behaviour of a child and if you know exactly what it is that the child committed. It involves making them stay in area where there is no one else. The solitude should be enough for them to realize that their bad behaviour is the main thing that has landed them there.
It is important to remember that the place where you would send the child should be safe and where he/she would not find anything amusing.
Spanking and other forms of corporal punishment is generally not recommended by experts as a form of disciplining children. It does have its benefits, but it also has some very negative consequences. So, you should try some other methods of disciplining your child first before you resort to corporal punishment. Spanking can lead to more violent actions which can eventually cause harm to the child. The act of spanking and other forms of corporal punishment can lead the children to become violent. It might also distort the child’s view and he/she might start to think that it’s okay to hurt a loved one.
Guiding Your Disciplining Techniques
It is important that you fit the disciplining technique that you will use according to your child’s temperament. If you don’t, then you might cause more harm than good. Being too strict to a child who is already timid and withdrawn, could end up causing that child to become even more introverted. You have to study your child’s temperament and decide on the best method to try.
Disciplining a child is not easy but it is you your duty as a parent.